The Christmas cold

Ah, the winter cold. No, not outside, in my head.

Here it is, Christmas week, the day of the Christmas uni-service at our church (instead of having two services), and I am wrapped in a blanket, on my couch, with a whopping head cold. So, here is my ode:

The Twelve Days of Christmas...with a head cold.

On da first day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...a fever of 103 (ok, not really, but it rhymes, so lay off, I'm sick)
On da second day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...two Alka Seltzer...and a fever of 103.
On da third day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...three ibuprofen ... two Alka Seltzer ... that's enough of that.
On da fourth day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...
four boxes of Kleenex
On da fifth day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...
five bowls of soup
On da sixth day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...
six sneezes looming
On da seventh day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...
seven coughing spells
On da eighth day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...
eight gallons of O.J.
On da ninth day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...
nine cups of tea
On da tenth day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...
ten trips to potty
On da eleventh day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...
eleven pounds of mucus
On da twelfth day of Chrithmath my head cold gave to me...
twelve hours of sleep

Alternate beginning lyrics:
One da first day of Chrithmath, my head cold gave to me...
a need for some vitamin C.
a desire for some TLC.
time to rest and watch TV.
comfort food..Chef Boy-ar-dee.
time to critique the Chrithmath tree.